The Crips and Queers Will Save Us All

I've spent a lot of my life in the queer community. Of course, personally. But also, professionally. A professional queer- we'd joke. How funny it is to be paid to be queer. But, that I was. Then, I was paid to be Asian American. That was a a good, but short gig - an interim position.

Now, I've been in the disability studies world for the past two years. I've gotten through a number of classes and attended as many disability cultural events I could. This past Friday, I co-organized a student disability studies conference. The new layer for me as a programmer was the accessibility. I knew it would be different, but I didn't know how different until the day came.

In the end, the conference was fine. The challenges we had weren't due to any accessible issues, but general technology crap. As I thought more about the day, I came to even better believe and understand, that the crips and queers will save us all. Without the academic theory- this is just a personal essay. Maybe in the future, this piece and my thoughts will be something more.

What Queerness Does

• Explodes gender, gender identity, and gender expression
• Redefines the idea of sexuality; that, sex is also not just for reproduction, but for pleasure; and, that pleasure is more than a vagina and penis
• Reminds the community that we are "illegal" beings, until the law changes; that we are not full citizens, until we have a federal, non-discrimination act for housing, healthcare, and employment. Things are changing for sure. But, don't take for granted what marriage equality is; while others are still unemployed and homeless.

What Crip Does

• Brings accessibility in all different ways - physically and cognitively. When doing the conference, we were mindful not only of the large print access copies, ASL interpreters, audio description, but also how others not familiar to the disability studies world could enter in a safe way.
• It's about being inclusive. Otherwise, it sends the message that You, person X, aren't welcome. That you must change yourself to enter our world. It's on you, not us. This is not the way I want to operate.

There's so much more to say. If the "mainstream" society would behave the ways the crip and queer folks do... I know we'd have a much better world. It's my current world. If you want to be in it, I'll let you in.

Rage

I felt myself bubbling
like the percolator
I use to brew
My dark, black coffee

But I didn't have to
Plug the electric cord in
Something had already
Set me off; something that he did

I knew I had to get out of there
Or I was going to explode
With shards of nail bits
In his skin, eyes, and clothing

All he had to do
Was the laundry today
That's it
He rarely is ever asked much more

And he doesn't even have a job anymore
Again
Same story
Whatever

I'm so mad at him
At myself
That the day before
The divorce this is the stress on my

I left him a note saying,
Do whatever with the laundry
I'm not waiting for it to dry
For me to change it

I feel the anger
In my shoulders
Between and in
The muscles that meet my neck

I'm probably still mad
At him when he almost
Killed himself
How could he let me know?

He knew that I'd
Try and stop him
Wait up for him
Call the police on him

He said it was - selfish
Fuck yeah it was selfish
That he wouldn't even wait
Until we were divorced

That I'd have his debt
I wasn't going to be a widower
Divorce me first, I asked
Just wait a few more days

Then, find the train
Drink yourself down the hole
I fucking don't care
And won't be responsible

These are harsh words
I rarely say
But you've made me get
To this point

So, fuck you
I can't wait until you're gone.