Monday, October 26, 2015

Caring for/Caring about

caring text


How drastically different a phrase can be from just one word.
One word.

For me right now, I think of - "caring for" and "caring about." This was recently brought up. I hadn't thought about it too much, but as I'm transition of separating from my current spouse, the phrase does mean something more to me now.

Will we care about each other after we are divorced?
Yes, I hope so. I hope I will share with him any major life happenings. The death of a family member. The birth of a baby. Someone moving. A trip. These things that are just FYI.

But, we won't be caring for each other anymore.
We won't have the additional step when you're partnered to "do something" with the knowledge of the other person.

I was asked, "Do you think you'll still talk to each other after the divorce?"
I think so, but it will be less frequent and obviously different.
I already feel like I'm trying to do the balance of keeping separate, but also together, since we're still living together, but separate.

Some nights I miss him so much, even when he's only eight feet away in the next room. I didn't think we could be even more emotionally separate than we had been in the past year, but I was wrong. And then there's the physical intimacy, too - and not just sex. What I miss the most is the cuddling in bed or on the couch. This makes me really sad to have lost this. I loved his warm chest. His arm around me until I was falling asleep and I would turn over. Or, also "twitch" as he would say. I'd be warm with him.